Can the bachelorette party host ask us for money?

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I just received an invitation to a bachelorette party. The maid of honor has chosen to throw it at a very nice hotel, and in the invitation, asked all the guests to make a donation to help cover costs! Is it just me, or is she totally out of line?

(We already had a bridal shower for the bride-to-be.)

Additional Details

1 year ago

I don%26#039;t mind buying my own drinks and food.

1 year ago

I can%26#039;t skip the party - it%26#039;s for my brother%26#039;s fiancee. But after the shower, wedding gift, buying my own dress, shoes and paying for hair, I just don%26#039;t want to fork over more money for an event I had no say in planning.

Best Answer

I%26#039;m sorry but that is totally rude. You dont ask guests to make contributions. She should ask the bridesmaids or the bride%26#039;s family to help, but should never ever ask a guest to help, that is just poor manners. If you cannot afford to help, then dont and if she says anything about it tell her that you have already spent a lot of money preparing for the wedding and that you consider it extremely ill-mannered to asks guests to contribute.

Asker's Rating:: I totally agree. The bride chose to have a small wedding with only 1 bridesmaid and 1 maid of honor, so it%26#039;s not like she%26#039;s expecting some huge bash. I thought the host was totally out of line to put that in the invitations.

Other Answers (15)

I don%26#039;t think it%26#039;s out of line. At a bachelorette party, the bride is not suppose to drop a dime. It%26#039;s her special party. I would look at some of the money as going towards that.

What else is the money going to. If it%26#039;s being thrown at a hotel, are you using rooms? If your are, the host may want to pay for them all in full at the time of use. Therefore, she would require to split the cost evenly. Since you%26#039;re going, you should pay your 1/2. Is there a buffet or open bar? Both those might be pre-pay situations. If so, again the host may want to pay those before the start of the party.

Check into exactly how the party is going to work. If the money is going to the bride, than throw in a couple bucks. Maybe $20-30. If not, then ask her why so much.
If you are a bridesmaid, then the maid of honor is within her boundaries to ask for some monetary support. The bridal shower is not the same as a bachelorette party. If you can%26#039;t afford to pay for a portion of the party, then just explain that to the maid of honor. Usually the bachelorette party is attended by the maid of honor and the bridesmaids - if she is inviting actual guests in addition to those then it might not be a bachelorette party.

Certified Wedding Specialist (www.eleganzaintima.com)
She shouldn%26#039;t - if she is planning it with the bridesmaids, they should split the cost - or scale way down in the plans.
I think she probably over extended herself- ive heard of maid of honors doing this- do what you feel is right to you.
I actually don%26#039;t think it is out of line at all, I have been invited to a couple of bachelorette parties as a guest (not a bridesmaid) and have paid a portion each time. One I paid 30 and the other I paid 40. It is to help cover the costs of the night for things you will all be enjoying. (i.e. the hotel, food, a party bus, entertainment) You also are making sure everything for the bride is paid for. The maid of honor should not be expected to cover all the costs for that.
You always pay for your own stuff at a bachlorette party, however, it was very rude for her to plan the party without asking the other bridesmaids what they wanted to do. Also, I%26#039;ve never heard of a party being held at a hotel and asking everyone to donate money. You go to a bar you buy your own drinks and some for the bride, that%26#039;s a bachlorette party. Your MOH is out of control.
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